What happens at your first psychosexual appointment

Booking a first psychosexual appointment can feel like a big step. Many people tell me they sat on the decision for months, sometimes years, because they were unsure what would happen in the room. In this article I walk you through it step by step, so you know exactly what to expect and can arrive feeling a little calmer.

Before your first psychosexual appointment

You do not need a GP referral to see me, and you can book directly online or by phone. Appointments are available at Harley Street, in High Wycombe, or by secure video if you would rather stay at home. My FAQs cover fees, insurance and clinic locations, so it is worth a quick look before you choose a time.

There is nothing you need to prepare. Some people like to jot down a few notes beforehand, such as when the difficulty started or what they have already tried. Others prefer to simply arrive and talk. Either approach is absolutely fine, and you can come alone or with a partner.

What we talk about

A first psychosexual appointment lasts around 50 minutes and is entirely conversation-based. There is no physical examination and nothing happens that you have not agreed to. I start by asking what has brought you to see me, and you can answer in your own words, at your own pace.

After that, I ask some gentle questions to build a fuller picture. These usually cover:

• Your general health, any medication and any past surgery or treatment
• When the difficulty began and whether anything changed around that time
• How it affects you, your confidence and your relationship
• What you hope to get from our work together

Some questions may feel personal, and you never have to answer anything you are not ready to share. I have worked in sexual health for over thirty years, so very little surprises me. My aim is simply to understand, never to judge.

How a first psychosexual appointment usually feels

Most people feel nervous for the first five or ten minutes, and then something shifts. Saying the problem out loud, often for the very first time, tends to bring real relief. Many patients leave their first psychosexual appointment saying they wish they had come sooner.

It is also normal to feel emotional. Sexual difficulties are bound up with identity, intimacy and self-worth, so talking about them can stir up feelings you did not expect. That is welcome in the room, and we can take a pause whenever you need one.

Confidentiality and your privacy

Everything you share is confidential. I will not contact your GP or anyone else without your consent, except in the rare situation where someone's safety is at serious risk. I explain this clearly at the start, so you know where you stand before we begin.

If you would like to understand more about the type of support I offer, my article on what psychosexual therapy is explains the approach in plain English. The College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists also describes how psychosexual therapy works in the UK.

What happens after your first psychosexual appointment

Towards the end of your first psychosexual appointment, I share my thoughts on what might be contributing to the difficulty. We then agree a plan together. That might include further sessions, some practical exercises to try at home, or a suggestion to speak to your GP about physical checks, such as blood tests.

Some people need only a few sessions, while others benefit from longer support. There is no fixed commitment, and you decide how you would like to continue. The NHS sexual health pages are a helpful general resource alongside our work.

Many people also ask whether they should bring their partner to a first psychosexual appointment. There is no rule here. Some prefer to come alone first, so they can speak freely, while others find it easier to arrive together. Either way, a first psychosexual appointment is simply a starting point, and we can always invite your partner to a later session.

Taking the first step

Your first psychosexual appointment is simply a conversation with someone who understands. You can read more about my background or send me a message if you have a question first. When you feel ready, you can book a consultation online at a time that suits you.